Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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