so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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