Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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