What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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