Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
