Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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