Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
