ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
