I am spending my child support on dildos
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
