So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
