Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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