just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How does one acquire holy water?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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