Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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