So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
please don't ironically join a cult
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