I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
