areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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