my mouth tastes like poor choices
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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