Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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