I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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