My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
