there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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