grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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