why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
