Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
