They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize