dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
