Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
