dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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