Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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