waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize