it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
