well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
