Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Green mimosas i think yes
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
