so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
