Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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