Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
