there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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