Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
