you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
