he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
