After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
