im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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