i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize