Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
