after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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