Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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