I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
