why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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