She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
