Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
