Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
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I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
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The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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