just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
