We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
