Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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