His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
