you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
