My sheets look like a crime scene.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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