her vagine was all disorganized.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
