Moan for me like Helen Keller
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
