I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
