My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
