We're like a lot better than the average bears
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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