so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I look better un-naked...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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