i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
