My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize